Friendship Problems
Peer pressure
There are two kinds of peer pressure: positive peer pressure and negative peer pressure. Peer pressure is when you try something because “everyone else is doing it.”
Positive peer pressure is when you act a certain way because your friends are acting that way, but it is for a good reason. For example, if your friends
talk you into joining the soccer team, and you end up really liking soccer, that’s positive peer pressure. Or, if your friend volunteers to tutor younger
kids, and you decide you would like to do the same, that’s another example of positive peer pressure.
Negative peer pressure is when you feel you have to act a certain way because everyone else is, but the end result is bad. If your friends are mean
to the new girl at school and so you treat her badly, too, then that is an example of negative peer pressure.
Popularity
There are lots of things that you and your friends may do to fit in. It may be having the right clothes or being friends with the cool kids. It is normal to want to be liked by others, but it is more important to focus on what matters to YOU. Having lots of friends and dressing like everyone else may seem important right now, but try to focus on being yourself and having real friends who care about you.
Making new friends
It can be really tough when you are meeting a whole bunch of new people at once if you are new at school. You may feel shy or embarrassed. You may feel like you don’t have anything to say. But, the other person likely feels the same way. Half the battle is feeling strong enough to talk to new people. And, it will help to just be yourself!
The answer to all of these questions? Make new friends!
It can also be tough to start hanging around new people at your same school. You may need to do this if you have friends who have been getting into trouble for things like ditching school or doing drugs. Even though you may care about these friends, you have to look out for yourself and make smart choices for YOU. If you have a hard time breaking away from old friends who may be bad news, talk to a trusted adult for help on how to do your own thing.
Sometimes, you may just want to branch out and meet new people. This is totally okay and you can still keep your old friends. It’s easy to hang out
with people you’ve known a long time or have a lot in common with. But, it can also be fun to spend time with new people.
Helping a friend in need
Are you worried about a friend who isn’t eating? A friend who is smoking or drinking? Or maybe a friend who is having trouble at home? You can listen and give advice, but your friend’s problems may be more than you can handle alone. Don’t be afraid to tell a trusted adult, such as a parent/guardian, teacher, or school nurse. Even though your friend may get mad at you for telling an adult, it is the only way to protect your friend’s health.
Ending a friendship
Sadly, not all friendships last a lifetime. Sometimes friends grow apart, and sometimes you might need to end a friendship. So how do you know when you should end a friendship?
You should end a friendship if your friend:
There are two kinds of peer pressure: positive peer pressure and negative peer pressure. Peer pressure is when you try something because “everyone else is doing it.”
Positive peer pressure is when you act a certain way because your friends are acting that way, but it is for a good reason. For example, if your friends
talk you into joining the soccer team, and you end up really liking soccer, that’s positive peer pressure. Or, if your friend volunteers to tutor younger
kids, and you decide you would like to do the same, that’s another example of positive peer pressure.
Negative peer pressure is when you feel you have to act a certain way because everyone else is, but the end result is bad. If your friends are mean
to the new girl at school and so you treat her badly, too, then that is an example of negative peer pressure.
Popularity
There are lots of things that you and your friends may do to fit in. It may be having the right clothes or being friends with the cool kids. It is normal to want to be liked by others, but it is more important to focus on what matters to YOU. Having lots of friends and dressing like everyone else may seem important right now, but try to focus on being yourself and having real friends who care about you.
Making new friends
It can be really tough when you are meeting a whole bunch of new people at once if you are new at school. You may feel shy or embarrassed. You may feel like you don’t have anything to say. But, the other person likely feels the same way. Half the battle is feeling strong enough to talk to new people. And, it will help to just be yourself!
- If your friends are not as nice as you thought they were, what can you
do? - The people you thought were your friends drop you, or a clique won’t let
you in — what can you do? - What do you do if a new student comes to your school?
- What do you need to do if your family moves and you have to go to a new
school? - What should you do if the people you hang out with have been getting into
trouble?
The answer to all of these questions? Make new friends!
It can also be tough to start hanging around new people at your same school. You may need to do this if you have friends who have been getting into trouble for things like ditching school or doing drugs. Even though you may care about these friends, you have to look out for yourself and make smart choices for YOU. If you have a hard time breaking away from old friends who may be bad news, talk to a trusted adult for help on how to do your own thing.
Sometimes, you may just want to branch out and meet new people. This is totally okay and you can still keep your old friends. It’s easy to hang out
with people you’ve known a long time or have a lot in common with. But, it can also be fun to spend time with new people.
Helping a friend in need
Are you worried about a friend who isn’t eating? A friend who is smoking or drinking? Or maybe a friend who is having trouble at home? You can listen and give advice, but your friend’s problems may be more than you can handle alone. Don’t be afraid to tell a trusted adult, such as a parent/guardian, teacher, or school nurse. Even though your friend may get mad at you for telling an adult, it is the only way to protect your friend’s health.
Ending a friendship
Sadly, not all friendships last a lifetime. Sometimes friends grow apart, and sometimes you might need to end a friendship. So how do you know when you should end a friendship?
You should end a friendship if your friend:
- Is sarcastic or mean to you often
- Tells your secrets
- Goes after your crush (or significant other) again and again
- Doesn’t want you to have other friends
- Doesn’t listen to you
- Pushes you to do dangerous things
- Blames you for what's not good in their lives
- Complains all the time